One-on-one meeting questions that get real answers.
A one-on-one is the one meeting that belongs to the other person. It's where a manager hears about problems early, and on a remote team, often the only place they will. Here are 40 questions, sorted by topic, a simple agenda, and how to keep the meeting from turning into a status update.
By Jitto Joseph5 min read
How to run a good one-on-one
- It's their meeting. Let them bring topics first. Your topics come after.
- Not a status update. Status belongs on the task board. Use the time for the person: how they feel, what's in the way, where they want to go.
- Same time, every week or two. Thirty minutes, rarely moved. Cancelling often tells people they come last.
- One shared document. Both add topics during the week and note what you agreed, so nothing is lost between meetings.
- A few questions, followed up. Two good questions and a real follow-up beat ten read from a list.
A simple agenda
| Part | Time | What happens |
|---|---|---|
| Check-in | 5 min | How they are, in their own words |
| Their topics | 10 to 15 min | Whatever they brought |
| Your topics | 5 to 10 min | Feedback, context, changes coming |
| Next steps | 5 min | What each of you will do before next time |
Check-in questions
- 1.
How are you, really?
The "really" invites more than "fine". Wait for the answer.
- 2.
What's been on your mind this week?
Open enough to bring up anything, work or not.
- 3.
What was the best part of your week?
Starts on something good and shows what energises them.
- 4.
What drained your energy this week?
Points to the work, meetings or people that wear them down.
- 5.
On a scale of one to ten, how was your week?
A quick number makes changes easy to spot over a few weeks.
Workload and priorities
- 6.
Is your workload too much, too little or about right?
Ask it plainly; people rarely volunteer that they're overloaded.
- 7.
What are you working on that you think matters most?
Checks that their priorities match yours.
- 8.
Is there anything you're working on that feels pointless?
Often finds work that can simply stop.
- 9.
What would you drop if you had to?
Shows what they value, and what they'd quietly like to hand off.
- 10.
Do you have enough focus time?
Too many meetings is one of the most common remote complaints.
Blockers and frustrations
- 11.
What's slowing you down right now?
The most useful question a manager can ask, and the most often skipped.
- 12.
Is there a decision you're waiting on?
Waiting on someone else is invisible until you ask.
- 13.
What's one thing I could do to make your work easier?
Gives them permission to ask for help.
- 14.
Is anything frustrating you that you haven't mentioned?
Small frustrations grow when they go unsaid.
- 15.
Who do you find it hard to work with, and why?
Ask carefully; it surfaces friction before it becomes conflict.
Feedback, both ways
- 16.
What's one thing I should do differently as your manager?
Ask it regularly and react calmly, or the answers stop.
- 17.
Is there anything I do that gets in your way?
A gentler form of the same question.
- 18.
How do you like to receive feedback?
Some want it written, some in the moment, some saved for the one-on-one.
- 19.
What are you proudest of from the last month?
Gives you something specific to recognise.
- 20.
Is there feedback you'd like that you're not getting?
People often want more feedback than managers think.
Growth and career
- 21.
What would you like to be doing in a year?
Starts a career conversation without asking for a five-year plan.
- 22.
What skill would you like to get better at?
Lets you look for work that builds it.
- 23.
What part of your work do you enjoy most?
More of it is often the cheapest reward there is.
- 24.
Is there a project you'd love to be part of?
Interest is half of what makes someone good at something new.
- 25.
Who would you like to learn from?
A mentor or pairing can do more than a course.
The team and the company
- 26.
How do you feel about the team right now?
Picks up on tension before anyone names it.
- 27.
Is there anything about how we work that you'd change?
People who do the work see what's broken first.
- 28.
Do you understand why we're doing what we're doing?
If not, the problem is the explanation, not the person.
- 29.
Who on the team deserves more credit?
A good way to hear about quiet work.
- 30.
Is there anything you've heard that worries you?
Rumours travel fast on remote teams and are rarely said out loud.
Questions for remote teams
- 31.
Do you feel connected to the team?
Isolation is the most common remote problem, and the least likely to be raised.
- 32.
Do you know who to ask when you're stuck?
If not, they're probably waiting quietly.
- 33.
Are your working hours working for you?
Covers time zones, late calls and the line between work and home.
- 34.
Is your home setup slowing you down?
A chair, a screen or better internet is a cheap fix.
- 35.
Are there too many meetings, or too few?
Remote teams drift into both.
Questions to ask your manager
One-on-ones go both ways. If you're the one being managed, these help you get more from the meeting.
- 36.
What should I focus on most right now?
Makes sure your effort goes where it counts.
- 37.
What would make my work more useful to you?
Shows what they need, not just what they ask for.
- 38.
What's one thing I could do better?
Ask for one thing; it's easier to answer honestly.
- 39.
What's coming up for the team that I should know about?
Context you'd otherwise hear last.
- 40.
What would I need to show to take on more?
Turns a vague wish to grow into something concrete.